Filk Name: Papyrus Scroll
Author: Grue (grue@mail.ru)
Tune: Stan by Eminem
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Rehetep:

Hello, player character, I'm Rehetep
Do ye wanna look in your own map
Ye shoulda search for the brown asterisk
It's my pyramid, you can go there without any risk
You gonna go there cause I'm very mighty
I have two artifacts you will be excited
I know ye needda more luck you can gain it
That's why ankh should be obtained
Also ye need to be the Arena champion
My mighty wrapping would be helpful
So if ye wanna not to be hit
Remember my adress, Rehetep, Pyramid.

Hey, where are you? I'm waiting for many days there
Find pyramid and go upstairs
It is so easy, did you at all
Read my previous papirus scroll?
Maybe I written my adress incorrect
Cause my hands and head aches mad
Did ye wanna to gain many gold
Many great treasures I hold
I hate Andy Drakon , he hates me
So I give you this goodies for free
Visit me, hero, you will be pleased
And your life will be eased

Hey, Mr. Didn't_Read_My_Papirus_Scrolls
I disappointed by your behavior at all
Why you don't give a shit of my messages
You must already be bored with CoC passages
Where, holy gods, you are hiding
When Rehetep to you treasures providing?
Now I know you are dumb troll
Who cannot read and write at all
Or maybe you are just afraid
Like yet not f#$%ed maid
Now your number of enemies increased
And my monsters will rip you to pieces!

PC:

Dear Mr. Rehetep I'm in the pyramid first floor 
What the f#$%ing traps are behind any secret door?
My good equipment is dissolved or rusted
And my curaria mancoxes wasted
Why your mummy slaves attack me
When you said they didn't touch me?
What this jackal demons do there?
If your are innocent then who shoulda care?
Should I believe that your letters was true?
Maybe behind this corner lurks grue?
Oh, it's third floor, damn marvellous view
Who is that brown Z? It's you?